Hermansen Family Blog: April 2010

St. George Trip

Last week we took a trip down south with the Wrights, and Grammy and The Poppy. I shouldn't need to clarify where "Down South" is because we all know Down South is code for St. George.

WARNING!!!

Before I begin please be warned this blog post may be very long, I recently installed a program that will automatically shut down your computer and, erase your hard drive if you skip the commentary and only look at the pics, its true.

The Pool

We stayed in Korey's families house, so the first thing we did after that long drive was hit the pool.

This is me playing with the girls. This picture is also the only time the girls were in my presence without crying.

Mom and Chaz

It was so funny to watch Aiden do Cannonballs.

Speaking of Aiden, has anyone noticed that He looks just like Ralphie on "Christmas Story"?

Group Cannonball. Cole is such a poser.

Keyton and Aiden, when I saw Keytons arms it reminded me of something but I couldn't quite put my finger on it, oh well guess I'll never know.

My Laura posing for a pic.

As usual we decided to do some tricks in the pool, and being the fattest I am always the facilitator of these tricks.

The underwater shoulder launch.

Korey doing the superman.

After assuring him that we wouldn't drop him head first on the concrete we finally convinced Cole to let us throw him in with a back flip.

Gone Shoppin

Later that night Cole, Shamri and I were bored so we decided to go to Wally world to get a game and some essentials.

On the way to the store we had a very in depth and informative discussion about sneezing. Not just any sneeze, but a blowout sneeze.

Hey don't give me that look! Its happens to everyone, and its critical to be prepared for the next time it happens to you.

If you don't know what a blowout sneeze is its when you sneeze and large amounts of mucus explode from out of your nasal passages and onto the nearest object (hopefully your hand or tissue). After evaluating many different scenarios we were much more prepared for that next inevitable blowout sneeze no matter when or where. The key is to make it look natural, don't draw any attention to your situation, damage control - make sure the minimal amount of people actually see whats going on, and quick and efficient cleanup. Also never sneeze without covering your nose, if you had a blowout it would be nearly impossible to control.

We also found the worlds cheapest bread, a steal at 89 cents. Must be made in China.

Shamri: "This thing squeezes to hard I cant take the pain."

Well after roaming around finding our supplies we went to the toy area to get our game, and that's where the fun began.Cole went to look in the sports department, Shamri and I went to the games but we passed the ball cage and I wanted to bomb Cole from the other isle.

The exact balls involved in the incident.

Well as we snuck up on Cole one of the shelf stockers, who I will refer to as "Shelfy" saw what was about to happen and that all hell was about to break loose if we threw those balls. Shelfy was approximately 46.75 years old, 5'8" tall, fat but not quite obese, balding with somewhat long dark hair around the sides, he wore denim jeans and a blue walmart vest. "Hey", Shelfy said "I'm sorry, but put those balls back!" after hearing this I quickly threw my ball at Cole. "Don't do that! Put them back" his anger grew. I retaliated "I was going to buy them, but okay whatever you say." "Then put them in your cart" yelled Shelfy.

A pic of Shelfy, I covered his face for his protection.

We went to a different isle and decided that it would be appropriate to throw the balls at Shelfy. We sent Sham down to the other side of the store with the groceries where she watched Shelfy. Cole and I listened very carefully to deduct his exact location on the other side of the isle, once we were certain we counted "1,2,3 Go" we threw the balls and heard "Hey!" we took off, as we ran away we heard him yelling at us. Sham later said that Shelfy was struck in the shoulder by a ball and one bounced off a shelf and hit him from behind.

Our successful bombing only left us wanting to get Shelfy again so we paid for our stuff and put it in the truck (just in case we got kicked out, we didn't want to go home empty handed after 2 hours of shopping). We went back in the store and went back to Shelfy's area, walked right into him, we quickly doubled back and circled around to approach from behind. As we rounded the corner Shelfy was no where to be seen. "He's on to us" Cole said.

The actual Isle where Shelfy works

We walked around the store several times and finally decided to leave, on our way outofthe store we looked back and there he was, he had seen us, and was coming our way. We hurried toward the door, Shelfy turned around to return to work as we watched him he turned around and saw us, then he rounded the corner and very cunningly peaked his head around the isle to watch us. (I think he is a spy during the day) As we stared at him he pulled out his walkie talkie and started calling, or pretending to call someone. We left the store laughing all the way to the car. It was definitely the funnest walmart trip I've ever had.

BREAKFAST TIME

On Saturday morning we went to the busiest and most trendy breakfast joint in town. Where we waited for 45 minutes to be seated.

Aiden had to check out the sweet Harleys "Dad, check out that skull, Sweet!"

We also went into the Antique store next door and the kids made the grumpy owner nervous because they touched everything.

During the long wait I took advantage of the down time to catch up on some good quality teasing. Any boring moment can be made more tolerable simply by teasing Keyton.

Offensive content below!!!

I couldn't resist taking a pic. of this one, I would have taken a picture of what the arrow was pointing to, but I thought a bucket full of butts would be offensive.

This picture was taken the exact moment that The Poppy saw that offensive sign pictured above.

Sorry for making you see the "B word" here is an edited family friendly picture.

Um, Shamri the cameras over here.

Shamri had the great misfortune of being the first to get her food, why misfortune? because everyone else who doesn't have food yet wants to try hers. Here is Korey trying to sneak a bite, emphasis on trying. Warning this next photo may be offensive!

This is when his attempt failed and he dropped his bite in Emily's lap, the mean look on Emily's face is enough to bring any grown man to tears. Sorry about the explicit photo I should have put a black dot over her mouth so you couldn't tell what she said.

That's better, sorry about that.

Finally we all got our food, hey stop looking at my french toast! No you cant have a bite.

PLAYING ON THE RED ROCKS

Later on we went to the hills above St. George and played around on the Red Rocks.

My sweet little ones.

This photo brings to memory one of my many pet peeves.It makes me irritated when multiple people are taking the same picture and those being photographed look at the wrong camera. Just a little FYI there for ya.

Laura and Emily going through the great and unspacious crack.

I couldnt fit my slightly enlarged torso through the narrow crack, so I had to sit that one out.

If you look closely you can see a tiny little head down in there, thats Aiden, the little kids could walk on through like it was a hallway.

This picture is so special and precious, excuse me for a minute............sorry about the pause, I had to go get a box of tissues to clear the tears from my eyes.

If I were to see this picture from an outsiders point of view I would assume that it was of a gay couple who adopted two children.

After the big hike we went bowling.

Oh crap, your hand came off. I told you those finger holes were to tight.

Laura was having an off day at the lanes because she forgot to wear her luckly Zebra shirt.

Yes that zebra shirt.

"This is how I knock down all 10 pins every time, its the best way. (unless you have a lucky zebra shirt)"

Good technique!

Charly even bowled, in slow motion.

When Charly would roll the ball it would go so slow that they would have to sit down and watch it go down. One time the ball was going so slow it actually stopped and went in reverse!

The Poppy launching one down the lane. He told me that they used to call him "King Pin" back in the day. I think that last part may be made up but dont tell him that.

Grammy didnt want to play but Poppy made up for her absence, he kicked our trash the first game and got second place on the next one.

Action shot when he only knocked down 9 pins, and said "Darn it all to heck" I hurried and plugged Charlys ears before he said Heck. Poppy was in the Navy which practically makes him a potty mouth Sailor.

Hey Ashlyn, did you have a nice trip?

These are two seperate pics of Ashlyn crying after slipping twice on the freshly oiled lane, I was to slow to get a picture of the actual fall.

Emily doing a Special Curtsy after her turn, she says it brings her good luck and shows respect to her opponents.

I did get in trouble for stepping on the lane and shoving charlys ball. I pretty much get in trouble every time I go bowling, but this time it wasnt from a husky lady in a Levis mini skirt.

Sunday morning I made the best and greatest Crepes ever made, or ever to be made. We had a huge Crepe buffet, it was awesome!