White Rim Bike Trip

Last April my Uncle Tom invited me and Clint to go on the White Rim trail with him, Tommy, Steve, Todd, and Doug. Tom kindly made all reservations and arrangements. I haven't had much time to blog about it so here it is 4 months late.

The White Rim trail is an awesome trail in Canyonlands near Moab. The trail is about a 100 mile loop and is full of crazy awesome views. We spent 3 days and 2 nights on the trail.

Also for those of you who may not know me very well, the commentary may or may not be true, but it might be funny. (I hope)

This is a the very beginning, there was an awesome downhill section then a whole lot of uphill.

Before even starting Steve had his 1st breakdown, a flat tire compounded by me braking his composite, threaded quickrelease Skewer, which in my defence looks identical to a typical Skewer, so how the heck was I supposed to know it was threaded, Steve? I'm sorry okay Steve, now please stop giving me the silent treatment!

Julio , Steve, Todd, Tommy, Uncle Tom, Me, Clinton, Julio's Van in the background

Here's another angle, if you look closely you can see Julio behind Clint

Steve's Dad Doug followed us with all the food and gear.

"Are you talkin to me? Yeah, that IS cheese on my chest, you got a problem with that?"

Steve showing off some of his sweet moves, this is an intimidation move he uses in court. It is also used to impress the ladies.

Todd filled his camelback up with Milk, he loves it because it starts out cold, then gets warm, then turns to cottage cheese, then sour creme.

Steve (our camp Mother) holding Clints ankles while he looked off the cliff.

After drinking 2 liters of milk Todd suddenly didn't feel well enough to ride so he kicked Doug out of his own truck.

Me and Clint trying to pose for a photo while a million gnats landed on our faces.

After riding all day we finally reached our camp. My butt has never hurt so bad in my life. Fortunately Steve led us in some stretches so our legs didn't get too sore.

Um, I'm not sure what to say about this one...Nice socks?

  

Day 2, leaving our first camp. Its crazy how those bikes somehow ended up positioned perfectly like that.

Steve's 2nd breakdown, flat tire.

 

Another crazy steep climb.

"ew, whats that smell?"

Tommy refused to smile, or even acknowledge that I wanted a photo because my camera is not "elite" enough for him.

While out, Clint and I took the opportunity to take some photos for the cover of our new album

Examining Steve's 3rd breakdown: Broken Chain

This mysterious Raven followed us around. There is an ancient Indian legend that tells of the ravens joining together and forming a Man called Ravenman...True story.

Just off the trail we found a sweet little slot canyon to go check out

Another awesome view on the trail.

It took forever to get this one because first, Tommy refused to have his photo taken by an inferior camera. Second we had to wait for Steve to find his sunglasses so he could look cool in the pic.

Uncle Tom riding along the trail next to the Green River, which means we were at the lowest point and would be climbing very shortly.

This photo doesn't do this road justice, it was insanely steep.

After reaching the top, Clint, in anger, urinated on the road to show his hatred for its steep incline.

Sand really sucks to ride through

Our last nights camp spot was right next to the green river, it was a pretty sweet camping spot.

Awesome sunset at our last camp

Everyone taking pics. of a cloud in the exact shape of the Virgin Mary crying, Tom said it was a true sign from heaven. It later turned into an Elephant, then a dog, and then a normal cloud... Very inspirational!

Another sweet move, how to get out of a boring meeting, fake a seizure, works every time.

Day 3. After a nice flat 2 mile ride we were getting ready for the final and most difficult climb

 

We just had to climb to the top of this small mountain.

Tommy wouldn't stop riding directly behind the cows, he claimed to be drafting, I have my doubts.

Todd, showing me a new technique "how to cool off your junk without stopping"

All finished. No, my camelback didn't explode!

After the long ride we went to Moab to grub out at the Mexican restaurant and headed home. I hate when a good adventure comes to an end (sad face)

Things I learned from this trip:

1. If you are going to ride 100 miles off road (or anywhere for that matter) it would be a good idea to do a little riding beforehand.
2. Its not a bad idea to bring something to help with muscle recovery. Thank goodness Steve had our back on that one.
3. Always wear your chamois (butt padding) I went the first day without wearing mine and regretted it for the rest of the trip.
4. Garbage bags are an adequate substitute for luggage. Learned that from Clinton.
5. If you go on a trip with Todd, no need to pack extra food for him he will just eat the scraps. Our first lunch everyone was hungry and exhausted, he ate 3 potato chips and half of a Mtn. Dew.
6. If you are going to help someone fix his flat, make him remove the wheel himself.
7. Anyone's bike can break, only Steve's bike can break 4 times in one trip.
8. If you bring a snowboarding coat for rain gear you will still get wet (from sweating) learned that from Tommy
9. Uncle Tom's patience on not getting paid for the trip lasts about 3 months, then he will break your legs if he doesn't get some money. Sorry about that Tom, I forgot okay.
10. Cannon cameras are more "Elite" than all others. That what Tommy says.
11. If you bring absolutely no biking clothing Steve has extras that he will sell you at a discounted rate. Clint
12. Pretty much every photo of Steve is freaking hilarious.
13. Clint really needs to get his own bike to go with his newly acquired biking apparel.
14. You can get anything from "Steep n Cheap" if you wait long enough, or don't mind getting an odd size or color.
15. If you tell Clint we are leaving 1.5 hours earlier than we really are he will only be 10 minutes late.

I also wanted to thank Tom (even though he will probably never read this) for inviting us, making all arrangements, and patiently waiting for months for us to pay our portion of what we owe, and not physically harming me for taking forever to pay him.

Bear Lake vacation 2010

Every year we go on a vacation to Bear Lake with Laura's Family. Here are a few pics and some hopefully interesting, possibly offensive commentary.

Here is the Cabin that we stayed in, it was awesome. The cabin had plenty of room for everyone, a game room in the basement and a sweet deck.

We arrived on Sunday night.

On Monday morning it was My and Laura's turn to make breakfast so we made my famous Crepe buffet. Check out that huge pile of Crepes.

I even got Marc to help out

Laura trying to decide what to put on her crepe, "there are to many choices"

She couldn't decide which topping to put on her crepe so she just ate it plain, and later complained that the crepe bar was to simple.

Later we went to the beach in the back of Korey's truck

Charly girl and Zoe

This looks like a simple photo of some beach fun but a very simple principle can be learned from this. Whenever anyone would get Emily wet she would freak out, so naturally she became our target. So, when something bothers you it is best to bottle up your frustration inside or you may be harassed for the rest of your life.

Well Emily refused to get wet, so we carried her out to the water and helped her.

Aiden and Ella holding hands jumping the waves, how special!

The poppy has a big smile on his face because he is going to keep that whole box of chips to himself.

Okay, I have to admit this one's kind of gay.

The poppy is plugging his nose because someone in close proximity passed gas, Grammy swore it was the smell of opening a fresh bag of chips, I disagree.

For those of you who don't know Emily, this pic. will give you a bit of insight, she has a very bad temper, notice how she has Keyton by the neck, this is just before she pushed his face in the sand as punishment for saying a naughty word (fiddlesticks)

Look at Keytons face after having it shoved in the sand, Em is in the background coming back to spank him for crying.

All of the children (and Korey) gathering around Grammy and Poppy, Korey says he feels safer and more secure in their presence.

Cole later convinced us to bury him and sculpt a body with large.....features. Later when he saw the pic he got mad because we had put shells over his bosoms, "its just not natural" he said.

Charly floating around.

Laura watching the girls play in the sand. Check out that prego belly.

Emily wasn't getting enough attention from us, so she started posing to make the other guys check her out. She walked up and down the entire beach doing that pose. I had to splash her with water to get her to stop.

Cole rode his 4-wheeler to the beach and got pulled over so he had to put it in the truck to bring it back, there were plenty of empty seats in the cab of the truck, but Cole wanted to ride it back in true Juab style.

After returning we engaged in an intense game of Dr. Mario on the N64, notice how we all have the exact same look on our faces.

After our game we had a family home evening with everyone.

First we did a skit and Grammy insisted that we dress up as authentic as possible. When we walked in someone screamed in horror. Notice how Sarah is covering her eyes in disgust. I can't help but think it was because of my Loincloth.

In case you can't read our name badges or tell from our costumes. I was Lamen, Cole was Lemuel, Andy was Nephi, The Poppy was Lehi and Nick was Sam (I think)

After doing some research on the always reliable web I realized that only Andy's costume was Authentic.

Okay, we actually had to use the script because we were to busy (playing Dr. Mario) to memorize our lines.

Jenny led the kids in a primary song. Keyton is crying in the background because he claimed that Ashylin was singing one Octive off, and was ruining the whole song.

Later we went downstairs and played "Things" till Midnight

On Tuesday we went to the pool

Ashlyn crying (I hope Emily doesn't catch her)

Aiden is always up for being thrown around

Charly chillin in the water

We decided to dive through a tiny tube as well. Cole called it the "Birth Canal" whatever that means.

You can't go to Bear Lake without getting one of their famous raspberry shakes (which incidentally taste exactly like every other raspberry shake in the world)

Back to the Pool

No trip to the pool is complete without a triple decker chicken fight

Emily and Sarah had a quick game of patt-a-cake before engaging in battle.

When kids find something they like they want to do it over, and over, and over. This photo is me catching Charly for the 21st time.

Grubbin out on the deck

Where did Aiden get that pizza in his hands?

The Girls had a blast playing together. Needless to say there was no shortage of drama.

Laura teaching the kids at an early age that there is no real use for bathroom doors.

This pic. just goes to show you how gross girls are as all the women gather around to pick at a boil on The Poppys back

Marc was so disgusted at the whole boil picking incident that he left and read a book.

I was winning the game of pool but Korey threatened to either arrest me or use his taser on me so I let him win.

Andy has a very ingenious game strategy, he somehow releases toxic air from his rear end which causes confusion,reddening of the eyes, and nauseousness to overcome his opponents.

This is Grammy trying desperately to somehow filter out the toxic air.

More Dr. Mario, fortunately Andy is hellagood at this one so he didn't have to release any toxic gasses. But he should have because Sarah won the next game.

After our time was up at the cabin we went with the Wrights to Lava Hot Springs. Incidentally Lava is pronounced "lä-və"

First we floated down the river

Keyton crying after realizing his shorts totally mismatch his life vest.

Charly, Aiden and one white hairy leg.

No its not a big crazy looking butterfly, just me.

After floating the river we went to the local water park.

Aiden gracefully falling off the rock wall, I don't know how he stopped to pose for a pic in mid-air.

My Laura playing with Charly girl, prego women aren't supposed to go down the big slides.

Cole somehow convinced me to jump off the extremely high platforms with him.

                          

This is me jumping on Cole's head for leaping ahead of me, it took him a while to surface but he survived.

Here is an action shot of us jumping off the high tower, it is a lot higher than it looks!

Don't you love when someone takes a pic. right when you are taking a bite?

Later on we decided to do some high class shopping, Aiden forgot his shirt and shoes so he borrowed Cole's shirt and Korey's flip flops, whiskey tango.

                                                                                                                                             

The first store was called "Crystals and Caverns" actually I can't remember its real name.

This statue would go good in any formal living room, ooh, get the one with saggy breasts please.

I believe this one is for bathrooms, do I need to explain what the figure is doing?

What weapon collection is complete without some Swastika Chinese throwing stars, wait isn't that an oxymoron? Chinese Swastika?

The next store had some really useful stuff

Every fine food establishment carries this product line. I would be proud to be seen carrying a big bottle of this sauce down the street, wouldn't you?

Tastes like crap but it wont give you gas!

The kids showing off their awesome stuff, cowboy hats and a pop gun, Keyton was to busy playing with his exciting and fun Geode rock to be in the picture

 Every kid needs a geode, they are hours and hours of nonstop fun and excitement, I mean think of all the things you can do with them..........oh sorry about that pause I became mesmerized just by looking at that awesome geode photo

Sometimes Korey gets Diarrhea of the mouth but this day he got Diarrhea of the.....well you can figure it out.

                           

Korey kicking the door, begging Emily to get out of the bathroom.

After an eventful day we went to Idaho's best kept secret world famous hot pools.  When I say "hot pools" what I mean to say is "hotter than hell, flaming hot scalding pools"

The girls dipping their feet in the coolest, I mean least hot pool

I can't put my finger on what this pic. reminds me of....

When we returned to the house, Cole and I wanted to check out the locked basement so we looked up how to pick a lock on the trusty web and after trying for a half hour we still couldn't get in. I guess we should have consulted Wikipedia, a very trustworthy site.

Before saying the closing prayer on this blog post I feel prompted to mention the house that we stayed in.

Apparently the owner of the rental company is obsessed with cats, here are some pics of the decor. The entire house was decorated with similar things. There were too many to show them all, but it was a sight to behold.

My favorite cat item was this sweet cat shaped Tape Measure, I tried to steal it so I could take it to work but Laura found it in my bag, slapped my hand and made me put it back.